Sometimes, a single conversation can change everything. As a Samaritans listening volunteer, I’ve had many of those conversations. They’ve taught me a lot about human pain and resilience, and they’ve also helped me see just how many misconceptions exist around suicide.
September is Suicide Awareness Month, and it’s a critical time to talk about these myths. Dispelling them is a way to decrease the stigma around suicide and create a safer space for people to seek help. It’s about empowering all of us to have those difficult, but potentially life-saving, conversations. Here are some of the most common myths I’ve encountered, and the truths I’ve learned from my work as a Mental Health First Aid instructor and as a Samaritans listening volunteer.
Myth 1: There are often no signs before someone attempts suicide.
The Truth: While it can feel like a sudden shock, most of the time, there are signs. However, these signs aren’t always what we expect. They can be subtle changes in behavior—a sudden withdrawal from social activities, a loss of interest in hobbies, or giving away possessions. The challenge is that many people simply don’t know what to look for, or how to respond even if they do notice something is wrong.
Myth 2: People who are having suicidal thoughts or attempt suicide want to die.
The Truth: This is one of the most powerful and important truths I’ve learned as a listening volunteer. Most suicidal people don’t actually want to die; they simply want to end the immense pain they’re in. They see suicide not as an end to their life, but as the only way to end their suffering. This is a crucial distinction because it means that if we can help them find an alternative way to manage their pain, we can help them find a reason to live.
Myth 3: If someone talks regularly about suicide, they won’t actually attempt it.
The Truth: Talking about suicide is always a warning sign. Whether you think they’re serious or not, we need to take it seriously. I’ve learned that simply creating a space for someone to talk openly and without judgment can be a huge relief for them. It’s an opportunity for us to enquire further and offer support, showing them they’re not alone and that their feelings are valid.
Myth 4: Suicide is selfish, cowardly, and doesn’t consider the impact on loved ones.
The Truth: In my experience, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Often, people considering suicide feel like a burden on their loved ones and genuinely believe that their family and friends would be better off without them. This feeling of being a burden can be so overwhelming that it distorts their perception of reality. It’s not a selfish act; it’s a tragic consequence of deep pain and a skewed sense of self-worth.
Myth 5: If someone’s planned their suicide, there’s nothing you can do to change their mind.
The Truth: People can and do recover from suicidal ideation. My conversations at the Samaritans have proven this to me time and again. The key is to provide non-judgmental support and to simply listen. When people get the support they need, they can find hope to carry on living. The plan for suicide is a symptom of their pain, not an unchangeable fate.
Myth 6: You shouldn’t ask directly about suicide, you might put the idea in their head.
The Truth: This doesn’t happen. In fact, directly asking about suicidal thoughts is best practice. It’s a brave and necessary step that shows you care and gives the person an opportunity to talk openly and honestly about what they’re going through. It can be the first step toward getting them the help they need.
Taking the Next Step: How to Help
Understanding these myths is a great start, but true confidence comes from knowing how to act when someone is in crisis. There are practical, compassionate ways to support someone, and you can learn these skills too.
If you want to learn more about how to support someone in a suicide crisis, consider taking a Mental Health First Aider course. Our courses teach you how to spot the signs and symptoms of mental ill health and provide initial help and guidance. We offer public virtual courses that anyone can join, and we can also deliver in-house courses—virtually or in-person—for organisations across the UK.
Taking a course like this isn’t just about professional development; it’s about being prepared to be a lifeline. It’s about being the person who knows how to have that difficult but crucial conversation, and who can make a real difference in someone’s life.
